Dr. Conrad Murray (shown above in an archival image file), Jackson’s personal doctor, has drawn the attention of the Los Angeles Police Department and is now considered a prime suspect reports Rolling Stone. Conrad is believed to have administered a massive dose of Diprivan, a very strong anesthetic. Sources tell NOTI that Conrad was working as a double agent for the now defunct Russian KGB. Jackson’s murder is being billed as retribution for “crimes” he committed against the Russian people. It is widely believed that Jackson was able to seduce Joseph Stalin’s mistress and convince her steal the Russian secret PIN code to the national debit card. After Jackson secured the PIN he was able to withdraw untold millions and weaken the Russian economy.
July 28, 2009
Secret US Spy Michael Jackson Actually Murdered
June 8, 2009
Vampires offer assistance to Taliban… for a price.
Reports are coming in from sources in Pakistan that are telling NOTI that the Taliban have been looking around for some new help. Sources close to the issue indicate that the Taliban fighters have reached out to none other than Count Dracula himself.
Working with Dracula has apparently come at a high price for the Taliban, they’ve had to take new hostages for Drac and his crew to feed. The vampire crew is offering the Taliban invaluable advice and training for hiding deep within the caves in the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan. The two organizations working together present a significant threat to the security of the area, one American corporal that agreed to speak with anonymity was quoted saying, “So what, now to fight the terrorists I have to carry around a cross, garlic and a bunch of holy water? A few of my men are also fashioning wooden stakes, and the military is issuing crossbows. What is this? 1654?”
While the real scope of the threat remains questionable, clearly the US Military isn’t taking it lightly.
One has to wonder, however, how long before the vampires turn on their new found friends?