Sugule Ali, laughing over his cargo of tanks and ammunition spoke via satellite to a popular newspaper on the digestive systems of the Pirate People on sea dumping and about Coast Guarding.
At this moment, curious Russian ships are sailing along to meet and see what the viability is of taking the tanks for their own causes. Diplomats have decided commando missions are unlikely due to the high number of potential Human Shields.
We first heard of the story from the following Craigslist postings then confirmed with our sources at the college that the school’s physicists have successfully tested long range human teleportation. Details on the process and methods for teleportation are scant right now, but we’ll give the details to you as they arrive.
The situation in the middle east is still much of a mystery, though we have confirmed the identity of the child as a boy from Poland. Which adds futher mystery to the situation, as it is not known how the boy reached the embattled region on his own.
This picture was captured by our sources close to the situation, it shows the boy in tattered clothing being hurried away from the scene.
More updates as we receive them….
Extremist Zionist militants in a shocking attack on Russian Armed forces have reveled a new, extremely powerful weapon. Currently the exact nature of the weapon is unknown, however, early reports are that the Zionists are using the fabled Arc of the Covenant.
The weapon is said to incinerate all enemies and civilians within its “blast radius.” Russian soldiers reported to their officials that they had picked up a small boy, about 7 years in age, walking along their encampment covered in ash and speaking a language which they didn’t understand. They quickly recorded the boy and the record was broadcast back to Moscow, where it was leaked to us. The boy can clearly be heard speaking Latin and early translations can hear the words, “return with fire, the house of man will fall.”
Immediately after the transmission was made, Moscow central command reported it lost contact with the unit. Early satellite photos so no remnants of the soldiers save for their transports and tents. The condition of the boy is also unknown. Satellite photos also show small groups of people moving through the area with a large crate, believed to be the weapon. Western media has remained largely quiet about the indecent while it is still under investigation and could potentially create panic over the new super-weapon.
Today we received a report from a Mr. Thomas Evans who currently resides in East New York. Excepts from his call below:
I woke up at 6am this morning to the goddamned Doppler effect coming from the freaking sky at three times the loudness of any jet engine. The jets to JFK line up in the sky like a congoline, so let me tell you, these weren’t the normal Airbuses you’d expect to hear! The noise started out low and piercing from the right of my house and the frequency kept changing as they passed my porch and continued west. There were three tests in all, each pass clocking in at about 23 seconds. They must have been on some maneuvers…[unintelligible]…spy photos…and all that…over the safehouses…
Mr. Evans trails off in his phone call. He is a frequent contributor, with entries in past posts on the Benefits of Eating Chips with Black Coffee for Breakfast and Sexual Yoga. We are launching an investigation into possible Air Force activity in the area and will post your observations and images, if any.
evil inside the boxes that control our children. the nazi propaganda machine continues on. joseph goebbels sent a clone to carry on his work to Argentina where he is currently 66 years old and carrying on his “originators” vision.
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