One of President Barack Obama’s clones was outed recently, after the clone was discovered he was given a cushy pharma job.
July 30, 2009
June 8, 2009
Internet Confirms Nucular Weapons Do Not Exist
According to Wikipedia.org and several other popular informational website page things, nucular weapons do not exist.
Nucular is a common mis-pronunciation of the word nuclear made famous by former president George W. Bush and cartoon father, Homer Simpson. The vast majority of scientists still hold firmly that nuclear weapons exist and are a great threat to the world.
February 9, 2009
NY Maple Syrup Smell Actually a Chemical Weapon
Covered here. We at nakedontheinter.net believe this scent to be the early tests of the transmission of a chemical weapon over the area of NYC. They are releasing the test chemical laced with the scent of maple syrup to see how far across the city it will travel and what weather conditions are favorable.
So far no one in the government seems to be taking the scent seriously, with Michael Bloomberg quoted as saying, “It just happens to be one of the aromas we’re going to have to live with in a city like New York… All things considered, I can think of a lot of things worse than maple syrup.” Clearly Mr. Bloomberg isn’t concerned with the origins of the scent, and would rather bath in it daily. Enjoy your pancakes New Yorkers!
February 4, 2009
Iran successfully launches satellite into orbit
Iran successfully launched a satellite into orbit over the Earth earlier this week. The world is watching these stunning events closely, as the same technology that can deliver a payload into orbit can also be fitted with a nuclear warhead. German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier called the event ”a worrying development,” on Tuesday. The Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said, “It is certainly a reason for us to be concerned about Iran and its continued attempts to develop a ballistic missile program of increasingly long range.” Clearly the world will not sit idly by as Iran furthers its attempts at developing long-range ballistic missiles.
Sources close to the test tell Nakedontheinter.net that a manned mission and future satellite launches are being scheduled and planned for now. The only questions that remain are the real intentions of the Iranian government.
November 21, 2008
Hillary offended by Secretary of State offer, Would Rather be President
According to sources close to the Clinton family, Hillary feels insulted to have been offered the position of Secretary of State by President-elect Obama. “Senator Clinton believes if Mr. Obama really respected her leadership ability and experience, he would have offered her his seat as president. This is truly a slap in the face!” There has not been a response from the Obama troop, but they are sure to be confused.
Photo Courtesy Flickr Creative Commons Chris_Dunn
November 19, 2008
U.S. to Clone Obama, Just in Case
In a surprise announcement today, a top Obama spokesman has reported that the administration plans to create at least 3 clones of the president-elect. “As the first African American president, there will be an even stronger threat to the safety of Mr. Obama. We’re thinking, damn, might as well clone him to play it safe,” reported the spokesman. This will be the first government supported attempt to clone an elected official.
Cloning of any kind has struck controversy from its original inception. The opposition believes humans have no right to “play God.” Said one prominent Republican of the Democrat’s plan, “Figures!”
Photos Courtesy jmtimages Flickr Creative Commons
November 17, 2008
Bush to Save Legacy with “Sundae Sundays”
In a last ditch effort to save his legacy, President George W. Bush has taken action to enact a new “Sundae Sundays” bill. The controversial bill will provide “all citizens, regardless of economic status” delicious do-it-yourself sundaes every Sunday afternoon beginning the first week of December. A small group of protestors have called for a low-fat option, but the White House has not responded. “I’m watching my weight,” Jill Mackey of Binghamton, NY tells us, “Where’s my sundae?”
The first draft of the bill, originally called “Sunday Sundaes,” included a luscious caramel peanut topping, but was quickly rejected. “The peanut is a very common and often deadly allergin,” noted White House representative, Lou Marsh. Adding, “I know it’s gonna be a cold one for some Americans, but lemme tell ya, everyone likes an ice cream sundae. It’s good stuff.”
Photo Courtesy urtica